For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to have lots of kids. My husband and I initially wanted to have “as many kids as we can”. Then that number moved to 5-7. and then finally, the number eventually came down to 4 lol! Somewhere along the journey though, I did have some hesitations (read about my journey to overcoming the fear of having more kids)
At some point, I was (somewhat) prepared to settle for 3 children (even though I knew deep down in my heart that my desire was really to have more).
With 3 little ones, my hands were full, and my 3rd baby was also quite a handful, so I was convinced that I was actually ok with just having 3…….until……well, until a certain dream I had.
One day, I dreamt that I had just given birth to this gorgeous baby girl that had so much hair (I know, right ??♀️), and I was soooo happy. So happy that I was still happy when I woke up from the dream. In fact, I could just feel that joy whenever I thought of the dream.
And from that day on, I started rethinking the idea of having another baby. Or rather, let me say that from that day I started wanting to have another baby ?.
Fast forward to falling pregnant, fast forward to me being in labour (I’ll write about the inbetween story another time 🙂 )
THE BIRTH DAY (HAHA!)
On the 8th of February at around 3am, I start feeling the contractions in my sleep.
So, the first couple are still quite mild, so I can feel them but then drift back into sleep again.
I wonder if they’re the real thing, and then figure that if I’m in labour, I will definitely know.
And then soon after that —-> Baaaam!! That shattering pain just starts hitting hard from nowhere! And I’m like “Yep, yep….this is it!!”
Our first 3 kids had all been overdue, 2 at 41 weeks and one at 42. So, at 40 weeks I was still chilled and hadn’t even packed my hospital bag ?.
So now, here I am finding and packing my stuff inbetween each contraction! ??♀️??♀️ (but at least I’d kinda selected the things I’d be taking with).
Oh, and then putting on lipstick and eyeliner, this Mama’s got to look good, delivering a baby is quite the equivalent of going to receive an award, you know. Plus I knew this was a photo op, so ??. I think I skipped the mascara because I knew I was gonna be crying…lol!
Ok, so as soon as I was done with all of that, we had to dash to the hospital because the contractions were now getting even real-er (yep, real-er, real-est! ?) and the last time, I was 5-to giving birth on the way there (story for another day) so we had to be on our way.
TO THE HOSPITAL!
So, I’m in the car and I can’t even sit ??♀️ because contractions are like “we are here”, so I end up on my knees, hugging the passenger seat all the way to the hospital…..all the whole feeling every turn, every stop and every bump on the road!
We get to the hospital and I can’t even remember how dilated I was. All I know is that I was in pain and just wanted something for the pain, but as usual my midwife managed to brush me off ?, because she knows it’s possible to do this without meds ?.
I must say though, that out of all my births, this was probably the one where I felt the most “in control”. It was still painful as hell, but I don’t know if it’s experience, better breathing, anticipating the pain, or a mix of all of these but it was a better experience than the other 3. The first one being the absolute worst ?, I was like a cow to the slaughter ???.
Anyway, back to the hospital. As “in control” as I was, that pain is no child’s play hey! I found myself even negotiating with the midwife about whether I needed to get onto the bed for her to monitor heartbeat, etc ??. Like, I felt like the bed was gonna disarm me, I could control the pain better when I was standing, more like when I was squatting. But she said no, so there I was on the bed, with this belt around me, feeling so uncomfortable.
And then the worst is when they have to check how far dilated you are. Yoh, guys….the birthing process is just so intrusive though ?. The first time I was in labour I had thought that there was a machine that tells them how far dilated you are, because movies….they never show you how they check! The doctor just shows up and says “you’re 5cm dilated”, and they don’t show them sticking their fingers up your vee-jay-jay ?? (TMI, I know…but why don’t we talk about these things??) ?
TIME TO PUSH!
Back to the story again ??, some time later, I’m now fully dilated and need to get into the bath to push!
Let me tell you….at Genesis, the bath is in your room neh, and literally 3 or at the most 5 steps away from the bed, but I tell you, it always feels like the Long Walk to Freedom! I have the two midwives holding me on both sides like a soldier injured in war ???
And then when I eventually get in the bath, the last part begins: the baby’s almost here!
At this point I’ve been in so much pain, but I must now brace myself and push as hard as I can so that the baby can come out. The harder I push, the sooner this little human comes and the sooner this ordeal is over and done with.
The “nice” thing about successive births though, is that the time usually lessens with each birth, even though the intensity might increase.
My labour took 13 hours with my first born, and so by the end of the day, I was finished….being in labour the whole really just undid me. Whereas this time around, it took 4 hours, and I was still alive at the end of it.
Back to the bath.
So, I gather all my strength and push with all my might. I’ll spare you the details this time ? but the process of birth is such a miracle: that an entire human being can really come out of your vee-jay! ??♀️?
But I guess, the baby must come out the way it came in ???
Ok, I digress.
It took about 20 minutes, I think. And that moment when this beautiful human being emerges from the water is always just so magical. I instantly traverse from grunts of pain to sobs of joy and wonderment ❤️❤️
She is finally here!! Our beautiful Inalinathi ??.
We spend a few moments, with her on my chest, as she hears my heart beating from the outside for the first time ❤️.
Langa cuts the umbilical cord. And then she gets to meet her father, and spend some time on his chest.
And then back to me: I’m now pushing out the placenta. Again, nobody tells you in the movies ??.
I mean, really ??♀️…as if I haven’t done enough today, there’s still placenta to be pushed out!
And then the last invasive procedure being stitches (Yep, some people do tear, and I’m one of them!)
At this point, I’ve given my body over to be used by the universe because it is clearly not mine anymore ??
And then lastly, the universe is done with my body, and they hand me back the baby to feed.
She latches on with no issues, and once again, another miracle at play: the miracle of my body now being ready to produce nourishment for this new human being, and this new human just instantly knowing what to do.
We lie there, and I just can’t stop staring at her.
She is round, plump and so gorgeous, with lots of hair. And the joy that is in me is unexplainable.
The dream has come true.
All praise be to God. Who was, who is, and who is to come.